A Fking Adventure
by Byakko Loki
Summary: Shikamaru, Sai, Kakashi, Gaara, Ino, and Kiba met on a chat online, through Naruto. They have no idea who anyone is, but they're about to find out - in the most fucked up adventure ever. Blame Kiba, it was his idea. Step one on their list of things to do: kidnap Sasuke. (Possibly bury him - we'll see.) AU; rated because of the F-bomb's - and no, I don't mean 'flower-bomb'. Enjoy!


**((Chapter One))**

**((My Online Friends))**

Beep...beep...beep...

Shikamaru blinked blearily.

"No."

_...beep...beep...beep..._

He stared.

"No."

_...BEEP...BEEP...BEEP..._

"Tch! Fine!" He sat up and reached over, slamming his hand down on the alarm clock. "Mendokuse..."

He heard his phone buzz and snatched it from the side table.

_(Scarecrow: So what's the damage?)_

He groaned, picking up his phone to reply.

_(Shoginapcloud: ...broke. what a drag...what are you doing up anyway?)_

_(Scarecrow: What ever do you mean?)_

_(Shoginapcloud: you're early. in fact, you were the first one on... what's up?)_

_(Scarecrow: Honestly? It sounded important. Plus, Dog-boy threatened to sick the Fishcake on me. I didn't have a choice.)_

_(Dogbeast1: Well how else would I get you up on time? You brought this on yourself.)_

_(Scarecrow: Yeah, yeah...)_

_(Sand: Hello.)_

_(Dogbeast1: SANDMAN!)_

_(Scarecrow: Good morning Sandman.)_

_(Shoginapcloud: yo.)_

_(Sand: May I ask, why were we called here?)_

_(Dogbeast1: Hold up a sec, not everyone's here yet.)_

_(Flowerbomb: You called?)_

_(Dogbeast1: PRINCESS!)_

_(Scarecrow: Now all we need is Art-boy.)_

_(Shoginapcloud: huh. he's usually among the first to arrive.)_

_(Picturebook: Sorry I was late. I was held up. Now what's going on?)_

_(Dogbeast1: Strait to the point, eh? Fine, fine. I'll tell ya.)_

_(Flowerbomb: Wait, hold up a minute.)_

_(Dogbeast1: Arghh, what now?)_

_(Flowerbomb: I'm sorry, but are you telling me that the __**Scarecrow**__ arrived __**before**__ me? Are you kidding me?!)_

_(Picturebook: The Crow is here?)_

_(Scarecrow: What's so surprising? Can't I ever be on time?)_

_(Shoginapcloud: no.)_

_(Picturebook: No, sir.)_

_(Sand: No.)_

_(Dogbeast1: No!)_

_(Flowerbomb: NO.)_

_(Scarecrow: ...oh...you wound me.)_

_(Dogbeast1: Back to the point...I'll have you know, I called this meeting for a good reason.)_

_(Flowerbomb: ...which is...?)_

_(Dogbeast1: I'm getting there! Anyway...I've decided it was about time we go on an adventure!)_

_(Shoginapcloud: an adventure? sounds troublesome...)_

_(Flowerbomb: What do you mean, 'an adventure'?)_

_(Picturebook: An adventure sounds like fun.)_

_(Sand: What are you getting at...?)_

_(Scarecrow: Why do I have a bad feeling about this?)_

_(Dogbeast1: No, no, no! You don't get it - argh!)_

_(Scarecrow: Then explain it to us.)_

_(Dogbeast1: I am! Argh! As I was saying, I think we should all meet in person! Like, next week! No school, remember? We should all meet up and go on a trip - an adventure!)_

_(Flowerbomb: I hate to say it, but...I actually like the idea.)_

_(Scarecrow: I agree.)_

_(Sand: It sounds interesting...)_

_(Picturebook: ...I would love to.)_

_(Shoginapcloud: sounds troublesome...but I'll do it.)_

_(Dogbeast1: Alright, YEAH!)_

_(Scarecrow: We should settle on a place and time.)_

_(Shoginapcloud: ...how about this friday? we could all meet by the sakura tree outside of school.)_

_(Dogbeast1: perfect!)_

_(Picturebook: It does seem efficient.)_

_(Scarecrow: I second that...I think.)_

_(Flowerbomb: Third.)_

_(Sand: ...fourth.)_

_(Shoginapcloud: alright then. all six of us - Crow, Sandman, Dog-boy, Princess, Paint-boy, and I, will all meet by the sakura tree friday after school.)_

_(Scarecrow: I look forward to finding out who all of you are.)_

_(Flowerbomb: Nn...!)_

_(Sand: Hn.)_

_(Dogbeast1: Same here!)_

_(Picturebook: Likewise.)_

_(Shoginapcloud: tch...how troublesome...)_

_**(*SCARECROW HAS LEFT THE CHAT*)**_

_**(*FLOWERBOMB HAS LEFT THE CHAT*)**_

_**(*SAND HAS LEFT THE CHAT*)**_

_**(*DOGBEAST1 HAS LEFT THE CHAT*)**_

_**(*PICTUREBOOK HAS LEFT THE CHAT*)**_

_**(*SHOGINAPCLOUD HAS LEFT THE CHAT*)**_

Shikamaru clicked off his phone, dropping it on the bed. He quickly made his bed (or face the wrath of his mother) and propped up his pillow. Running his fingers through his hair, he made his way over to the bathroom to get ready for another day of school.

"Tch...what a drag."

_((Chapter One: My Online Friends))_

Gaara sat quietly in his seat as the rest of the class flowed in. Among the first of them was Sai - he had transferred in not too long ago - a few months maybe. After him came a few girls he didn't know. He cringed. They were very loud.

Gaara was a transfer student, too, but he had arrived about a year ago. He looked up when another student entered - Shikamaru Nara. Rumored to have an IQ of over 200, but barely passed because of his excessive laziness and lack of effort. If not for that, he'd be the top student in all his classes most likely - well, except gym. This school had some serious monsters lurking in it - an example, Rock Lee. Adopted son of Might Guy, the creepy bowl-cut gym teacher. But really, you'd never guess he was adopted. Especially when it came to the eyebrows. THE EYEBROWS.

Blinking, his eyes refocused to see a few more students had entered - Naruto Uzumaki Namikaze, Sasuke Uchiha, and Sakura Haruno. No one knows how THEY ended up together - no one in the group really had any similar traits. Seriously. Uzumaki - orange goof ball of sunshine and obsessive prankster. Uchiha - stoic stone faced bastard with a soft spot for his two closest friends. Both excellent when it came to Phys Ed. Though Naruto sucked when it came to the other courses - great calligraphy, though. Sasuke - brilliant - but not as brilliant as his best female friend, Haruno. Haruno - brilliant girl, wants to be a nurse, has a big forehead and - oh yeah - PINK HAIR. But anyway...

Suddenly he heard fast, quick paced, light footsteps steadily growing closer. Suddenly a shock of bleach blond hair flew in through the door. It was Ino - one of the most popular girls in school. Used to have a huge crush on Uchiha - the most popular BOY in school - but not anymore. She got over it.

She was of average height, thin - lithe, and had long flowing hair in an upraised ponytail. Average grades, above average beauty. Her family owns a large scale flower shoppe.

Soon after she entered, loud thudding footprints could be heard, as well as a shout of "FUCK YOU! I DON'T GO ANYWHERE WITHOUT AKAMARU!"

Kiba burst into the room, slamming the door shut behind him. A faint, "oww" could be heard from the opposite side of the door. Kiba was like half-dog, and, as previously stated, never went anywhere without his dog, Akamaru. Big, white, and fluffy - browns spots on the top of each of his ears along with some stray fur that stuck upright.

The rest of the class filed in, Hinata Hyuuga and her cousin Neji Hyuuga - most well known for their unusually pale eyes. Looked a little bit similar, but were polar opposites when it came to personality. Hinata - shy and timid, self-discriminating, majorly lacking in confidence. Neji - arrogant and full of himself, over confident, discriminating of others, and a bitch. Both, through, were gentle and lithe.

Shino - a mystery wrapped up in an puzzle. An enigma - not unlike himself. He wore large concealing jackets, and Ozzie Osborn glasses. Doesn't talk much - not much is known about him. Pretty much average in everything. A little above average in P.E. - but that's nothing unusual - at least in this school...sorta.

Then there was Chouji - childhood friend of Shikamaru and Ino. Loves to eat - especially chips and barbecue. Not fat - just fluffy. Yup, defiantly fluffy. Moving on... There was also Tenten - peppy tomboy who's got a slightly disturbing obsession with anything sharp and pointy. Close friends with Neji Hyuuga and Rock Lee - nicknamed Bushy-brows by Naruto.

Suddenly a tall man with long white hair entered the room.

"Pervy-sage!"

The man twitched, and growled lowly...

"Naruto..."

"Heh heh, ah, gomen Ero-sennin - ah, Jiraiya-sensei!"

"Hmth! Anyway, today I've brought in an old student of mine to help with class - he's two years above you kids - one for some of you - so show some respect, or he can make your life a living hell! C'mon in, Hatake-san."

Kakashi Hatake...senior, sort of a closet pervert, huge fan of the teachers perverted books - brilliant, though - and unlike Shikamaru, HARDWORKING. Could have graduated a long time ago, but his teachers thought it better he be with kids his own age. Hence, while he was still in high school now.

He sighed, and crossed his arms. Why couldn't there be a single normal person in this school? He cringed, thinking of who his online friends would turn out to be. Kami, help him...

"Now, all you do whatever Hatake-san says - if you need me, I'll be doing some RESEARCH!"

Oh dear god...


End file.
